i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
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Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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