i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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