go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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