After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
