did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
