I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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