I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
