Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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