Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
