what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
