need another drink. this is the easiest way
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
