How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
