I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
