It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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