Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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