We're facebook friends in real life
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
