he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize