The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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