Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
