butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
