No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize