her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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