I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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