people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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