Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
