I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
