I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
