I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
