Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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