i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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