It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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