We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
