My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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