Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
