At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
