Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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