so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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