i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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