Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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