Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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