the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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