If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
