he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My penis needs a shock collar
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
