Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
