he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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