i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
