dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
