Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
