At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
