You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
