We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I wear drunk well.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
