$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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