i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Randomize
